The irony of Extravagance: Bushiri 300 vs President Mutharika’s Las Vegas strippers

    Uncle Bae’s Diary:

    Double edged sword of Extravagance – Bushiri’s 300 strong entrouge vs Mutharika partying with strippers in Las Vegas

    By Uncle Bae

    My name is Uncle Bae, I am an African, born and bred, taught and trained to express gratitude where it is due, humbly, yet unwaveringly so.

    To that end, let me begin by acknowledging one of Africa’s largest news agency, and the accepted truthful authority in the Republic of Malawi, Nyasatimes for granting me, a true son of the soil, an opportunity to bring to print, my thoughts.

    Usually, they reside recorded in my never dying – never ending old torn diary that I inherited from my very good friend Raphael, may his Soul continue to rest in peace.

    Raphael was a bright African thinker, like me in a way. His life was cut short by an evil man monster who masquerades as a leader. But that is for another day.

    Central to that theme, of his favourite word(s) was “extravagant”.

    It such a striking theme whose irony I wish to delve into today.

    On September 15, just few weeks ago, our big man, the ‘Ndilibe Pulobulemu” Professor Peter Mutharika left the country for United Nations General Assembly in New York with his near record breaking entourage that included paper ghosts and of course a better number of DPP occult.

    Clever readers are already using Raphael’s favourite word, or its sisters – excessive, wasteful, exorbitant… (the list goes on)

    Prior to leaving, Ndilibe Pulobulemu had promised the whole nation to fly in the chartered jet with what he described as “reduced entourage.”

    This on the back of international outrage after he travelled to similar event with well over 130 people, at an event where the maximum people allowed on the entrouge was just over 10.

    So, the great Professor, I like to call him Pinocchio –  that lying cartoon, through his Minister of Foreign Affairs said,

    “We have also issued instructions to all ministries that ministers should not authorize the travel of their officials to UNGA, without the approval of the president, and in light of the measures a lot of requests have been rejected.”

    Oh Professor Pinocchio!

    Carved by a woodcarver named Geppetto in a village near Florence, Pinocchio was created as a wooden puppet but dreamed of becoming a real boy. He lies often, that is his claim to fame.

    Professor Mutharika, or Pinocchio as I call him, and as you should too, is an incompetent leader. A placeholder who only came to fame because his brother died, too soon. He dreams of becoming a real leader someday, but he is far from it. He lies often too, and to the cost of thousands of lives.

    Despite claiming to reduce the number on his entrouge, Pinocchio Mutharika simply did what he does best – lied!

    Official papers, seen by the ghost of my friend reveal that the number on paper has even exceeded that of yesteryear, while on the ground the number is not so different from that of yesteryear either.

    Now of course, travelling on its own is not an issue, if someone can afford it, and if they do so without injuring the humanitarian dignity of another person, let alone an entire state.

    You know the party is over when the DJ joins the dance-floor!

    My friend was a man of great wisdom. He always used to say, you know the party is over when the DJ joins the dance-floor. This because., a DJ is in charge of the vibe of the party. Once he puts the music on auto-pilot and joins the floor, you know it’s time to go home.

    After the UNGA session, that lasted seven days, most African heads of state returned to their respective countries to continue the usual day to day activities – including perennial flyers like Robert Mugabe.

    “Peter Mutharika of Malawi is still in New York for UNGA. He was first in town and won’t leave until every other leader has left.” wrote Idriss Ali Nassa, a very popular journalist and friend of mine.

    So yes, as Malawi burns, Ndilibe Pulobulemu is still entangled in the white man’s land with no hope of returning home soon.

    I am told he is bemused by the strippers on Las Vegas, and routinely enjoys ‘eye-candy’ in the land of the free.

    Of course, America is a nice place to party or holiday. But you see, Mutharika is the President, the DJ, he ought to be controlling the country, not partying with Latina prostitutes in America!

    But I guess, you know the party is over when the DJ joins the dancefloor. Malawi is on auto-pilot now – we have no President anymore

    The Irony of double edged Extravagance!

    Conservative estimates have stated that the first liar is blowing at least MK30 Million daily on his shopping sprees, and Latina hookers.

    This comes as Malawi struggles to feed more than 8 million people facing hunger with barely enough budgetary support from a small pool of donors.

    Admitting to Parliament that the budget will be implemented at the time the Southern Africa nation is facing a myriad of challenges, prominent of which is hunger, Finance Minister Gondwe observed, “We will implement the 2016/17 national budget at the time we are facing a financial crisis”.

    Yet despite this crisis, the First Gentleman and his band of bootlickers can spend so much partying in the land of the free!

    I said earlier that travelling is not an issue, if one can afford it, and if he does not do so at the expense of the nation.

    Perhaps Mutharika aims to be like a man he loathes so much. A man who intimidates him so much he tries to emulate him so as to destroy him.

    Malawi’s forsaken, but South Africa’s embraced celebrity gospel preacher, Prophet Shepherd Bushiri who himself left for Israel with over 300 entourage.

    Mutharika’s foul mouthed propagandists love to call Bushiri by Raphael’s favourite word – extravagant.

    Granted Bushiri is extremely rich, and its visible. But the irony of the extravagance is that Bushiri runs multi-billion-dollar business all across Africa, Asia, and Europe. He can afford to travel to Israel – He has his own jet for crying out loud – He does not need to charter a plane on tax payer’s money!

    While Pinocchio Mutharika dooms the future of Malawi’s children by routinely spending their millions of dollars on strippers in Las Vegas – behaving like a teenage boy with a pepper in his pants, the charismatic businessman and Prophet is busy making millionaires in his church.

    Such is the irony of extravagance!

    • Uncle Bae is “an always thinking Malawian analyst”. Article first appears on Nyasa Times

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