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    Comical and Unhinged: The twisted tale of Gastaff Kativu

    “I am Sekuru Chaminuka, Mbuya Nehanda and Nyatsimba Mutota reincarnated in one”
    Political activist and leader of the Complete Knockdown of Establishment(CKD) campaign Engineer Gastaff Kativu, on Wednesday the 17th 0f January held his press conference.
    Stemming from presser were mixed reactions. While some perceived him as a mad-man, some saw a free-thinking genius.
    The following 5 remarks are some of the inconsistent or contradicting submissions he made.
    #1 UNITED NATIONS
    The dreadlocked activist took his anti-ED gospel forward by declaring that local courts were not in a position to handle trials that allegedly President Emmerson Mnangagwa is supposed to face. He stated that he should be tried at The Hague. During the same presser he down-trashed the “white-men” model of a justice system and said his movement is pro native, the cultural DARE structure.
    #2 THE MILITARY FACTOR
    He gave hostage to fortune in regards to the military which he often referred to as junta. He dismissed the military and it’s former commander in chief and now Vice-President Constantino Chiwenga. He reckoned that if they wanted war, “we are ready”. With the same breath he said that the military will stand by the people and will not shoot.
    #3 HEROES
    Eng Kativu who is a technology fiend claimed that he has already been ordained spiritually to rule this land and “handifi zvekumhanya” . According to him, he is the savior and hero the spirit world has sent to rescue and lead the people of Zimbabwe. He however made a bold declaration that there are no heroes in Zimbabwe. True heroes died in the struggle, everyone who made it alive “imbwende“(weak coward). This puts an entire blanket on all liberation war veterans.
    #4 HIS SON IN “EXILE”
    The outspoken activist encouraged all citizens to be fearless. He even went to a point where he said the President who of late has been likened to a crocodile is just a lizard. In sharp contrast, he made his 18year old son leave for U.S.A because he suspected that he was being followed by state agents.So he imposed exile on his own son for safety and is telling other sons of this land to be fearless.
    #5 INITIALISM
     Because of the comedy value during the press statement, we can as well sum this up on a lighter note. If your movement is called Complete Knockdown of Establishment isn’t it logical for it to be abbreviated to C.K.E? No, the geek abbreviated to CKD we presume the D is from Down and well Establishment is silent. GENIUS

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